Alligator Mouth

"But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be." James 3:8-10

We were discussing the tongue in Sunday School this morning. I know my tongue can get me into trouble sometimes. I can be pretty forthright, sarcastic, blunt, and the list goes on and on. I can be gentle, but when the situation calls for speaking truth in love, then I am your woman. But sometimes I don't realize that my words can come across being judgemental and condemning. Please know that is not my heart at all. I am working on this.

Sometimes we forget that our tongue can hurt, cut, offend, tear, curse. Out of it can also flow bitterness, unforgiveness, crudeness, foul language, destruction.

The same tongue can produce kindness, blessing, encouragement, thanksgiving, love, peace.

How can the same tongue produce such opposite language and attitudes?

Because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. (Matthew 12:34).

We speak what is in our heart. Period.

If hatred and ugliness is in our heart, then that's what comes out of our mouth.

If love and kindness are present, then that's what comes out.

You know it really comes down to an issue of self-control. I have heard some people control their foul language around certain groups of people (women, kids, church people) and let it loose around others. If they can control it, then they can get rid of it. If we all would think before we speak, then it would save us all a lot of theatrical apologies later as Anne Shirley would say.

With our tongue people bless God and then walk out of the doors of the church building cursing Him with their language. It ought not to be. It a reflection of our heart.

What a bad testimony our tongue can be. Gossip seems to be mainstream in our society even among Christians. I myself can be guilty of that as well. Where you draw the line I don't know. Gossip can be truth, but it doesn't give us the right to speak it to others all in the name of prayer. You have heard people speak a "prayer request" all in the name of gossip. Unless you have been given permission by that person to share personal things, then it should be kept to yourselves. I tell you I am guilty about sharing things with others that I have no business sharing. My intentions are pure and my motives are right, but should I be saying it? I don't know.

I could keep going on and on about this. So much truth can be spoken on this issue.

What do you think? Where do you draw the line between gossip and sharing requests and burdens of others? I have a hard time with this. I would love input.

The Believer's Blessings in Christ

The work of the Father: Election (Ephesians 1:3-6)
The work of the Son: Redemption (Ephesians 1:7-12)
The work of the Spirit: Protection (Ephesians 1:13,14)

IN CHRIST I AM:

Blessed v.3

Chosen v.4

Predestined v.5

Adopted v.5

Redeemed v. 7

Forgiven v.7

Enlightened vv.8,9

Given an Inheritance v. 11

Sealed v.13

Assured v.14

It would do us good to ponder more on these Biblical Truths and the work of the Trinity. Some of the Truths make some people uncomfortable because it relinquishes our control and choice, but God is either sovereign or He's not. Let's embrace His gift and while we may not understand all things, Scripture also reminds us that, "Who has known the mind of the Lord...?" Romans 11:34

Thank you Lord that you chose me for I am so unworthy!

The "What Ifs of Love" Part 3

Actions that show respect

1. Serve your husband's plate first at mealtimes. Wait on him, ask him throughout the day if you can get him drinks, food, etc.
2. Don't nag him about things he does or doesn't do
3. Don't interrupt him, talk for him, or correct him (You are his wife, not his mother)
4. When he is talking to you, your children, or others, look at him with respect and listen
5. Don't let yourself go. Work hard to keep yourself in nice shape for your husband. Get up in the morning and fix yourself up like you would if you were going out. You'll feel better too.
6. Tell him at least once a day something you are thankful for in him or admire about him, no matter what else is going on between you
7. Never take sides with a child/or anyone against your husband
8. Show desire for him physically. You are his wife, the one who should bless him sexually
9. Be 100% supportive of your husband's vision for his life. Walk with him and encourage him!

REMEMBER

Your sexual responses and advances mean as much to him as his affection (holding hands, hugs, and kisses) mean to you.

The more you are actively showing respect and honor to him as your God-given leader, the more you'll desire him physically

The "What Ifs of Love" Part 2

There are a lot of ways that we can disrespect or dishonor our husbands so this is by no means an exhaustive list. Some are ideas that Gail had listed and other's are my own ideas. Some are thought provoking questions to ask yourself to see where your heart lies. It is truly my heart's desire to honor Him and him. I know I fail every day, but I am asking the Lord to show me very specific ways that I am not showing respect the instant that I do it and then helping me to confess and make things right by apologizing and yielding to Joey and ultimately to the Lord.

1. Is your focus in your marriage on what you need or want?

2. How often do you think about what your husband needs or wants?

3. How much time do you spend wishing your husband would change?

4. Do you interrupt, talk for, or correct your husband in conversation either alone or in front of others?

5. Do you usually believe you are right when you and your husband are discussing problems and solutions?

6. When was the last time you asked your husband how you could bless him?

7. When was the last time you asked your husband if there's anything he'd like for you to change?

8. How much time in a day do you spend praying for your husband?

9. Do you thank God for giving you a husband?

10. When was the last time you thanked your husband for something he is or does?

11. When was the last time you complimented your husband in front of others?

12. How do you talk about your husband to your children? To your relatives? To your friends?

13. How much time in a day do you spend nagging your husband? If you ask more than once, it's nagging.

14. How do you speak to your husband in private, in front of others or in front of your children? Is your tone one of sweetness, kindness, and gentleness?

15. Do you belittle him by teasing him, making fun of him, or mocking him about areas he is sensitive about?

16. Do you succumb to his ideas more than you do your own?

17. Do you seek ways you need to change yourself or is your focus more on changing your husband?

18. Do you teach your children to honor, respect, and submit to Daddy? They will learn by watching you.

19. Who can you change?

20. Who are you ultimately serving?

Ultimately we can only change ourselves and we serve the Lord Jesus. By honoring and respecting our husbands, we in turn honor and respect the Lord and the opposite is also true. I would by lying if I told you I get an A+ for doing all of these right all the time, but my heart desires to improve. I hope yours does the same.

I will post next time on specific way we can show respect. If you have any ideas as well, feel free to share them. I know I can always use new ideas.

The "What Ifs of Love" Part 1

I don't even know where to start in sharing ALL the abundant Truths I learned at the Valentine's fellowship/Bible Study I mentioned earlier. I will be making this a 3-4 part series so I don't cram so much into one post. So hang on and may the Lord continue to reveal His heart to us regarding our husbands and our marriages.

"Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:33

A poll was taken and 100 men were asked. "Would you rather be alone and unloved or inadequate and disrespected?" Now both are hard answers but what do you think 98 men said? They would rather live in a world where they are alone and unloved rather than be disrespected.

Men desire respect just as women desire to be loved. It's the way God created it to be. Should men have to earn our respect? Think about it before you answer. Do we think we should have to earn our husbnds love? You would say, "No, they should just love me for who I am." So why do we make our husbands earn our respect? God's Word says to respects our husbands. There is no reference to if they do this or that then we should respect them. Just respect. How do you respect an abusive husband? An alcoholic husband? A husband that won't provide for his family? Respect doesn't mean condoning bad behavior, making excuses for sin, or overlooking offenses, rather it's an attitude of the heart. Is it easier to respect a husband who is a godly examply, a wonderful father, a romantic husband? Sure it is. I have one such husband and he makes it easy for me to respect, honor, and submit to him. But what if he was a different man? I can tell you my flesh wouldn't want to honor, submit, or reverance any other such person, but God's Word makes it clear that I am supposed to. I would pray to the Lord for a changed heart and a right spirit.

Can I tell you that even though Joey is a godly husband, a wonderful father, and a committed follower of the Lord Jesus, I still have trouble respecting him at times. Sometimes my mouth gets in the way of right actions and before long the Lord shows me how I have disrespected him through my words and my actions.

What are some ways that we can disrespect our husbands?

I will write next time on specific ways we disrespect and dishonor the men God brought into our lives. Let's ask God until then to show us very specific ways we have dishonored our own husbands. Confess, repent, ask for forgiveness from them and the Lord.

Until next time.