Etiquette Part 7

Table Etiquette

• Wash your hands and do your hair before coming to the table.

• Be at the table on time. All should sit around the table together for grace. You may like to hold hands together to give the blessing.

• At the beginning of the meal, pass the food counterclockwise, or to the right. If you have guests, the guest of honor sits to the right of the host and is therefore served first.

• Do not over pile your plate. Take a moderate portion and come back for more if you are still hungry. It is thoughtless to take more than you need and leave food wasted.

• During the meal, ask for your food to be passed unless it is near you. Do not talk to the air, but ask someone specifically, e.g. "Jane, could you pass the rice?" Reply with "Thank you."

• Do not talk with your mouth full. Do not make noise when you eat. Do not belch. Do not gulp your food. Do not lick your knife. Keep your elbows in.

• If you have to cough, put your hand over your mouth and turn away from the food.

• Do not slouch at the table. Sit straight. Keep your chair close and elbows off. Elbows are allowed on the table between courses but not while eating.

• Do not monopolize the conversation or speak over the top of others. One person should speak at a time. Share the conversation.

• Be a good listener. Adults should have the predominance of speaking at the table although children can enjoy the conversation, especially in answering questions.

• Speak positively. No arguments.

• Do not have private conversations at the table. It is a place for shared communication

• Always say, "Thank you" to the cook or your mother for the meal. Mention something specific you enjoyed. E.g. "Thank you for the lovely meal. I enjoyed the special pasta dish." Thank father for working hard to provide the food.

• Ask to be excused before you leave the table.

• Push your chair into the table when you leave the table.

• At the end of the meal, help clear the table and help with the dishes.

• Do not jump up and down from the table.

• Sit at the table until the meal and family devotions are finished.

If you are interested in ordering all seven of the Etiquette posters, go to Above Rubies and order them there. They are very good, especially if you have children. Hang them around the house and teach as you go.

Etiquette Part 6

I guess it's time for the last two Etiquette's. I kinda forgot. Oops.

Daily Life Etiquette

• Keep the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

• Walk through life blessing and encouraging everyone rather than criticizing and complaining.

• Start the day with a smile and keep it on all day.

• Always go the second mile. Be open to put yourself out to help someone in need.

• If you break something that belongs to someone else, buy them a replacement or reimburse them financially. Always return things in the same shape as it was loaned to you.

• If you borrow something, TAKE IT BACK! Do not forget to return books. People will be more apt to loan you things if you return them on a timely basis. Write them a note of apology upon returning the item.

• When you have borrowed something of considerable worth from someone, write them a "Thank you" card or give them a little gift of appreciation when you return it.

• If you have told someone you will do something, DO IT! Always keep your word.

• Do not commit yourselves to things you cannot accomplish.

• If you are unable to keep an appointment or a commitment, let the person know.

• Do not let people down. Your word is your good name. Be dependable and reliable.

• Show deference to older people. Call older people "Mr." and "Mrs." rather than using their first name, unless they specify otherwise.

• When someone gives you a gift, show gratitude. If it is sent my mail, immediately write a letter of thanks.

• When you meet someone, shake hands with a firm handshake. (not weak or insipid, but not one that will break their hand either.)

• Always knock and wait to be invited in before entering someone's home, whether you know them well or not. They may or may not be expecting you.

• Drive courteously.

• A man or boy should rise when a female visitor enters the room and remain standing until she is seated or leaves his space.

• All should stand when an older visitor enters the room.

• A man or boy should give up his chair to a woman or older person.

• A man should open the car door for a woman.

• A man should offer his seat to a lady if there is no other.

• If grandparents live in a different town, call them or write frequently. If you live away from home, call regularly and keep in contact by email or mail.

• Respond to personal email correspondence with a short reply back thanking them for the information they sent you or simply reply back with a hello. If you don't, it leaves the sender wondering if you have received it. Thank them for their time in thinking of you.

Etiquette Part 5

Church Etiquette

• Always seek to be on time. Try to be early if possible.

• Dress in a manner that will glorify the King of Kings and that will not stumble another brother or sister.

• Do not whisper to one another during the ministry of the Word. It stops other people hearing. It distracts the preacher incredibly and it can curtail the moving of the Holy Spirit.

• Do not have a conversation with someone in the midst of a prayer meeting. This will grieve the Holy Spirit. If we are not in earnest about praying, why should God be interested in answering?

• If you arrive late because of unforeseeable circumstances and someone is praying, show courtesy and wait until they have finished praying before you start walking to your seat.

• Do not wander in and out of church. Show reverence at all times.

• Come with a cleansed and prepared heart to worship and bring a sacrifice of praise. Have no grievance or unforgiveness against anyone in the congregation, especially as you take communion.

• Do not be concerned with yourself only. Look out for lonely people. If you see a new person sitting alone, sit with them or ask them to sit with you.

• Seek to bring a little word of encouragement to someone every time you come to church.

• When there is time for greeting one another, do not talk to your friends only. Remember the strangers, the ones you do not know well, the older people, and also the young children.

• Do not come to church to get, but to give-to God and to others.

• Come with your Bible and notebook, ready to write down what the Holy Spirit says to you personally. Come with expectancy. Look interested. Look up the Scriptures. This will help the preacher immensely. Even if he is boring, the Holy Spirit can speak personally to you if you are alert to Him.

• Sit in the front seat, rather than the back seat. You miss out on the blessing when you sit at the back. Even children behave better right in front of the preacher. Try it and see!

• If you can avoid it, do not rush off home immediately. Do your part to help or put away seats. Fellowship with people instead of running off quickly, or invite someone or a family home for Sunday dinner.

• Do not use the church to spread gossip and do not go home and criticize the church.

Etiquette Part 4

Home Etiquette

• If you are not going to be home for supper, communicate that you will not be there, in plenty of time-before Mother starts cooking the meal.

• If you are going to be late home, always let the family know. Make sure the family always knows where you are.

• Do not eat in front of other people. If people arrive when you are eating, offer to share your food with them.

• If you make a mess, clean it up. If you spill something, clean it up. Do not leave it to someone else.

• Make your bed daily and keep your room tidy.

• Turn off the lights when you leave the room.

• If you see something lying on the floor, pick it up and put it in its rightful place.

• Do not put something down, put it away.

• Cultivate a HELPFUL SPIRIT. When you see something needs doing, do it. Do not wait to be asked. Wash dishes without being asked. Do not do the least you can do, but always go "the second mile" and do more than is expected.

• If you are asked to do a job, do it to the best of your ability. Do it with all your might. Do not leave a job half finished. Always complete it.

• Do not jump on the sofas and do not run through the house.

• Do not leave the house without saying "Good-bye." Always inform the household where you are going.

• Do not eat in bedrooms. The kitchen and dining room are eating rooms.

• Do not whisper at the table, or in front of company. If you can not share what you are saying openly with everyone present, do not say it. Keep it for a private encounter.

• When an older person comes into the room, stand up to greet them and show respect. Leviticus 19:32 says, "Stand up before the grey-haired person; honor the face of the aged and revere your God."

• Honor your parents by the way you speak to them and help them. This is the secret of a happy and successful life.

• Do not go to bed before saying "Goodnight" to everyone.

Now, obviously a lot of these are meant for kids, but adults can apply some of these too. I admit I don't do a lot of these and might not do it well. Don't live in condemnation if you can't or aren't in a season of life where you can do these things. Obviously I don't make my bed everyday depending on what's going on and I don't feel guilty about it either. Jumping on sofas doesn't seem to be a struggle for me either, but I do need to work on other things such as turning off lights and putting things back in their rightful place. So just read it for what it is and don't feel guilty if you aren't doing these things. I am just simply posting what the poster says. It is a helpful reminder for me though to always be aware and cautious of what I am or am not doing.

Etiquette Part 3

Work Force Etiquette

• Work hard and diligently!"

Never let it be said that Christ's people are poor workers." (1 Tim. 6:1)

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." (Ecc. 9:10)

"Work hard and cheerfully at all you do, just as though you were working for the Lord." (Col. 3:17, 23-24)

(a) To provide for your own needs.

(1 Thess. 4:11-12; 2 Thess. 3:10-12, 1 Tim. 5:8)

(b) To be able to give to others. (Eph. 4:28)

(c) To enable your employer to prosper.

(Proverbs 27:23; Genesis 30:27-30; Genesis 39:1-6)

• Be obedient to your employer, not only to the kind and gentle, but even to those who are tough and harsh!"Obey in EVERYTHING those who are earthly masters, not with eye-service as men pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing the Lord." (Eph. 6:5; Col. 3:22, Titus 2:9-10; 1 Peter 2:18-21)

• Give satisfactory service in every way! (Titus 2:9)

• Do not "answer back." Show respect! (1 Tim. 6:1-3; Titus 2:9)

• Do not pilfer or be light fingered but "prove yourself truly loyal and entirely reliable and faithful" (Titus 2:10)

• Do not steal by taking things of small value. (Titus 2:10)

In other words, do not help yourself to even minor things such as paper, pens, etc.

• Do not steal your employer's time. Work your full quota and go the extra mile!

Start work on time or earlier. Work longer than expected and harder than anyone else.

• Do not complain about your wages!

"Be content with your wages." (Luke 3:14; Philippians 2:14-15)

• Do your work as unto the Lord!

Work for your employer as though you were working for Christ himself. "Whatever you do, put your whole heart and soul into it, as work done for God, not merely for men-knowing you are actually employed by Christ, and not just by your earthly master." (Colossians 3:23-25)

Etiquette Part 2

Somehow my link to Above Rubies didn't get underlined in my last post. Oops! Also, after doing some thinking and researching, I have also added a few of my own Etiquettes throughout the seven I will give you.

Receiving Hospitality Etiquette

• Take something with you when invited for a meal-either food, flowers, or a little gift.

• Seek to be an encouragement and blessing to the home you visit. Find out the interests or needs of the people to whom you are visiting and take something to them that would be appropriate to help them or of further interest to them.

• Show your appreciation verbally and enthusiastically for the hospitality and for the meal your hostess serves you. Thank them again for the hospitality as you leave.

• If it is a party, do not leave the home until you have sought out and personally thanked both the host and hostess for the evening. It is a lack of common courtesy to leave a home without acknowledging the hosts and thanking them.

• Find out the names of the children in the family before you arrive. Take an interest in the children too and speak to them by name.

• If you have received an invitation for a meal, a function, a wedding, birthday party, or shower, answer by letter or phone. If you are unable to attend, it is just as important to RSVP by the required date.

• If you have consented to attend, make sure you do attend, or let the hosts know if something unforeseen happens. Always keep your word.

• Try to arrive on the time your hosts have suggested. If you are going to be late, make a quick phone call to let them know.

• Always reciprocate the hospitality either with a meal out or a meal in your own home, but preferably a meal in your home as it is more conducive to conversation.

• Do not stay longer than is appropriate. Watch your hosts. If you see they are getting tired (or tiring of you) begin your gracious gratitude and goodbyes. If it is appropriate, pray for your hosts before leaving.

• If you are on a special diet or are unable to eat certain foods, tell your hostess before coming. This makes it much easier for her to prepare the meal. If you have not informed the hostess, be ready to eat what is prepared for you.

• Mothers, change dirty diapers away from people's noses, preferably in a room away from the company. Bring something to put the diaper into and take it to the trash can or put it into your diaper bag to take home. Do not leave it hanging around.

• If it is a small intimate meal, your host and hostess may not want you to help with the dishes. However, if it is a big crowd and there will be a lot of work for the host and hostess, pitch in and help with the dishes. Do not expect to eat, walk out, and leave all the work behind.

• When you have stayed overnight at someone's home, clean the room when leaving. Take the sheets off the bed, and re-make the bed nicely. You may ask your hostess if she has clean sheets she would like you to put on the bed.

• Always leave a gift and "thank you" card in the room. Also, write another letter of thanks when you return home to remind them of the things you enjoyed while staying with them.

Etiquette Part 1

I have been on this Etiquette kick lately since I came back from the Above Rubies Retreat. I bought Nancy's Etiquette Posters while I was there so our family might learn more. I didn't realize there was so much to learn...things I already knew and was practicing and then other things I lacked and need to be doing. I am definitely more aware now and would like to pass the info along to you. As a courtesy to Above Rubies, please don't copy these for yourself, but if you're interested in getting these posters, you can order them from Nancy at AR. They are good for the whole family to learn and great to hang around the house as a daily reminder. You can also go over them together as a family at meal times. They aren't very expensive ($7.95 I think for 7.) I will include one "poster" at a time in my post. Hope you enjoy and that it encourages you to put these things into practice.

Speech Etiquette

• Articulate your words clearly. Do not mumble!

• Look people in the face when you speak to them.

• Speak politely. Always say "Please," "Thank you" and "You're Welcome."

• Speak encouraging, positive, kind and life-giving words. Bless people instead of criticizing people.

• Speak with a smile, rather than a frown.

• Children, do not interrupt adult's conversation's. Wait until the person has finished talking and then say, "Excuse me" before talking further.

• Do not talk over the top of others. Do not monopolize conversations.

• Do not be afraid to speak your convictions, but share with gentleness and grace.

• Do not invade someone's personal space. Do not get too close to them when you speak.

• Do not be a talebearer.

• Do not speak with your hands in your pockets.

• Always speak the truth. Lies are for cowards who do not have the courage to tell the truth. Do not exaggerate.

• Be interested in what others have to say. Ask questions about their life, rather than talk about yourself. Be attentive and a good listener.

• Answer the phone with a bright, happy voice.

• Always think before you speak. "Put your brain into action before you put your mouth into gear."

• When introduced to someone, shake hands and say, "How do you do?" which is traditional, or "I'm very glad to meet you." which is more meaningful, or "I'm very glad to meet you Mrs. Jones" which is even better and more personal.

• Address older people as "Mr." and "Mrs." unless told otherwise.

• Husbands and wives, say "I love you" to your spouse and each one of your children every day.

• Children, say "I love you" to your parents and siblings each day.